Let's get a little personal.

While I've always been a rather organized person, I've also always had a penchant for collecting things. First it was books. I'd amassed a library of 5000 books in my younger years and enjoyed them at times, for sure, but also became acutely aware, when I moved with my husband to Michigan, that they became more a burden than relief from burden. As a family of four, our space was limited and decisions were required to make the most use of our space and to feed our mental health and the health of our family, as a whole. Not only was a book-purchasing habit financially ill-advised at the time, but they drew me away from acknowledging and dealing with stress in a healthier manner. Obviously, this doesn't speak to everyone who has a library of books at their disposal, but is only a comment on my own experience with this addiction.

And I've found, over the years, that my answer to stress or guilt or grief was to feed my addiction to acquire. Yes, I donated my entire collection of books to the local library book sale and moved exclusively to borrowed, rented or electronic books. But when grief became a constant friend a few years later, I found myself acquiring things anew. This time it was tarot decks and purses and clothes and things I felt would somehow provide a fulfillment that I was otherwise missing because of the loss I'd recently experienced.

It took a long time, four years actually, to recognize the habits I'd formed and how they negatively impacted my mental and spiritual space, and to take steps to rectify the behaviors and partake in a little self love by, well, not partaking, as the case may be. 

I've reduced my wardrobe, purses, tarot decks, personal items, kitchen items, only to those things I truly value, that I use or take time to appreciate daily. If it had time to collect dust, that's time I'd forgotten what worth I'd assigned to that thing in the first place. And I'm aware now, more than before, the impact that unconscious spending and acquiring has on my life and the wider world. Last year, I had more than 200 Amazon packages delivered to my home, 200 boxes and bubble wrap and packaging in landfills, 200 trips to my door. And how many of those 200 items did I truly find value in? I actually went through my 2019 Amazon orders and only 19 are items I still have or would purchase again. Wow. Talk about an eye-opening exercise! 

So I've become conscious of the waste I leave behind, and the distraction from the people and things important to me. And, as a business owner, I don't want to contribute to waste and clutter and things without value. Sure, I make baubles and sell baubles and love that people wear my baubles and enjoy them. I love that people value what I offer and that I can offer something worthy of that at all. But I want to do so consciously. Purposefully. Meaningfully. 

Because of that, you may notice some changes to how I run my business and offer my products. It's been a journey in itself, finding solutions to product packaging, for instance, that are entirely eco-friendly, while still embracing a minimalist home. If you run a business, you'll know what I mean.... it can over-run your living space! So I was on the hunt for packaging I could buy in bulk (thus reducing the amount of deliveries and carbon emissions) but would fit in the space allotted to it, and was 100% recyclable. 

When you receive a package from me, the entire box, from the packaging tape to the label can be tossed directly in your recycle bin. Easy peasy. No mess. No guilt. And an entire year's worth of supplies fits snugly in my office nook. No more overtaking cabinets or closets in every room of the house. 

But it's not just packaging. While this may not be everyone's favorite change, I am no longer accepting any custom requests for anything not currently in my available materials inventory. I am only ordering jewelry-making supplies once a year, again to reduce carbon emissions and packaging waste. If I do not have a 24" chain to substitute with the 20" chain offered, for instance, I will not be buying chain specifically to accommodate that request. While I don't typically take custom requests regardless, if I should take one and it requires materials I don't have on hand, the request will (sadly) be denied. I want to push myself (and encourage any artist out there to do the same) to use what I have before investing in more. More, in my case, is simply a distraction from creation. I call it "decision overwhelm", when I see too many things and fail to actually start a project because I can't decide what to use. It's the same reason I reduced my entire wardrobe to essentials. I no longer have to spend time deciding what to wear and can just put on what's available and get on with doing things.

And, I'm sure, during the months to come, the need for more change will make itself apparent, and I hope you'll bear with me while I continue to transition to a sustainable, minimalist and ultimately happier way of life. It continues to be a struggle, but I'm daily working towards buying consciously from people and brands I believe in, for things I truly value, and to offer those things to others in return. 

Stay creative, folks (and I assure you that you can do so with less)!
Nicole

Now on to the winners! But first, I'll say a big thank you to everyone for participating. You fill me with a sense of creativity and reignite my passion for design, each and every time I see one of these pieces, and I hope you participants all had fun giving it a go. 

Both winners deserve a round of applause for their work, as does everyone who participated in the challenge. I'm always so humbled by the entries received, the participant's excitement and encouraging words to one another. You all represent a true sense of community, and I'm just happy to be a part of it. 

These winners have received their $25 cash prizes and have been emailed regarding the other winnings. I hope you'll head on over to the Pinterest gallery, if you haven't already, and show your appreciation for these two amazing designers, as well as all those who took the time to enter with their original creations. 

Thank you and happy weaving,
​Nicole

Let me preface this by saying that, while I've been disappointed in my lack of progress with outlined goals, I've since come to a point of acceptance and self-love that allows me to acknowledge it's okay to experience your day, week or year within the parameters of your energy and needs. This means that, no, I didn't meet my goals. Not a single one. But that's okay. 

I spent too much money. I bought too many planners and too many clothes and too many purses. More of any one thing than I am likely to use. Not only did I spend money, but I realized too late what a superfluous purchase it was, then later re-sold it or gave away many of the things I had acquired. I recognize the waste I caused and in which I indulged, and I'm working steadily to make better choices as the weeks unfold. 

However, it's been a struggle. 

Last fall, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. This illness persisted for longer than anticipated and, even when my tests came back negative and I was clear of the illness, I was feeling lethargic, unmotivated and uninspired. This has continued through today. In February, however, an answer arrived in a diagnosed of  ME / Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, most likely triggered by the viral pneumonia (in theory), and was told to expect my physical and emotional stressors to continue indefinitely.

So how does this relate to my depth year and 2019 goals? 

It has led me to understand that it's okay. That it's acceptable and encouraged to make allowances which encourage self-care. Sometimes this means goals and plans must be sacrificed so my energy may be utilized in ways that many take for granted... taking a shower, folding a load of laundry, grocery shopping or an afternoon with the in-laws. But it has also taught me that there's no excuse for indulging in unhealthy behaviors and habits that are not feeding my wellness, but adding to its demise. 

What does this mean moving forward? 

It means I'm taking things slow. I'm keeping myself accountable for using my resources responsibly, which include my energy and my finances. It means lessons may be released late, videos may be postponed, personal art projects may remain in a perpetual state of "almost complete", and how I interact with others is altered to protect my mental health. 

And I hope those of you out there who also experience chronic illness are recognizing your needs and finding healthy ways to address them, without guilt, without regret and without self-admonishment. You deserve to care for yourself first, before you can care for the needs of others. 

Stay safe everyone and stay creative!
​

Anyway, that means I'm even MORE impressed with the entries, because the participants took the steps I provided (which didn't include that pesky 14 gauge wire) and had to incorporate that nonsense piece of wire in there somewhere! And boy did I open every single email submission I received and say to myself "Why didn't I think of that?" Because every single entry was outstanding. 

By the way, if you haven't already seen the Gallery of Entries, check out the gorgeous work by clicking the link highlighted above! You wont be disappointed. 

Now for the winners! We had both a "group favorite", voted for by the participants of the challenge (and only the participants, to help avoid a popularity contest), and a "judged favorite" chosen by a panel of seven individuals, myself included., who were non-participants in the challenge. So let's begin! 

Both winners will receive 10 tutorials of their choice and a $25 cash prize (payable via PayPal), and Dalila will receive my finished pendant (sans that 14 gauge round wire!). But honestly, guys, let's be straight.... the struggle to judge this was real, and I imagine that sentiment is shared by all the participants who cast their vote. Because every entry was a wonderful peek inside the character of its creator, and inspires in me the motivation and creative drive to get some work done! Thank you so much to everyone who participated, and I hope you will all check out the entries linked above and share some love with the contestants. 

See you in the next challenge! Stay creative!

​Nicole

But I was feeling the pull. 

I've always been inclined towards a sense of minimalism. I don't like clutter. I feel overwhelmed when surrounded by too many things. And, of course, organization is a keystone of my day to day life. So, part of my Depth Year was a low-spend or no-spend promise to myself for 2019. I hoped to find peace and joy in what I already possessed, and not in the hunt for something new and shiny. This didn't, necessarily, mean I wouldn't purchase anything at all, but that I would attempt to be very conscious about my purchases.... bringing to me only the things that filled a need, purchases that supported local artists or business owners or fed into the creative community, and purchases that would further what interests I'd already established that I'd hoped to journey deeper into during the year.

And I think, entering April, I'm finally finding my groove with my Depth Year journey. I deleted all shopping apps from my phone (even apps for Michael's or JoAnn's or Hobby Lobby.... those coupons encourage me to spend without necessity!). And now that I've purged unused items, even items I've only recently purchased, I feel much more free to create, or that I'm at least open to creative possibility. 

While I may have moments I'm derailed from this new path of mine, I wont punish myself for it or allow it to derail my goals moving forward. I may yet buy another purse. I may buy another tarot deck, despite the 20 I haven't used in months. But I'll endeavor to try, every single day, to invest my time and energy into what I have. 

And this isn't just about "things". I endeavor to spend my time more consciously as well. I want to experience the depth of great relationships, encourage other creative souls in whatever way I can (and yes, sometimes this will mean buying things), and keep my interactions positive and uplifting whenever possible. And when not possible, be open to receiving the positivity of others. 

So yes, while I may have "failed" at the beginning of my Depth Year, there's still a lot of 2019 left, and I'm opening myself to whatever that means. I'm excited to see where this road will lead. 

Are you investing in a Depth Year? Let me know in the comments below!