Have you ever felt as if, regardless of goals accomplished, you just aren’t working as optimally as possible? That everything is a distraction, even from itself? That’s been my life these last few weeks. I work every day. I pull those tools out and, sometimes, stare at them really really hard. And that’s work! I mean, my tools aren’t easy to get to, you know. I have to drag my Craftsman box out, move stuff around, unzip their case. I could break a sweat with all that work. It’s sometimes as unappealing as, shudders, gardening! But, like any job, I soldier on and end up with a beauty or two on my hands, and a sense of satisfaction settling somewhere between the carcasses of my lunch and dinner. Other times… not so much.
This month, I’ve torn apart more pieces than I’ve finished. I’ve enjoyed a television show simply to lose interest in the series. I’ve started a sentence and forgotten its direction. Really now, it’s been a frustrating series of distractions, almost-there and not-quite-dones.
The list of tasks grows longer by the hour. I’ve worked more unemployed than ever with a job! I still have new tutorials to post. New tutorials to write. I still have product to list, and I’m so enthralled by the creative process I find the logistics of selling to be a bit boring, really. I lack the motivation to perfect my SEO with seven adjectives describing the word “yellow”. Blah. Product photography is an ever-evolving progression, yet the thought of re-listing makes me nauseous, and most days I glare at my camera with a bubbling disgust. I know it’s mocking me with its eye. It’s evil, unforgiving devil camera eye!
And then I make another ring. Or bangle. And, despite not being the project on which I’m supposed to be working, all is set right with the world for at least an entire fifteen minutes. Those are like the fifteen minutes it takes to eat the most delicious pie ever (Edwards Turtle Pie, in case you’re wondering). Satisfying, but horribly horribly wrong.
Now, I really must excuse myself as I have a series of six books to read in an effort to procrastinate on the greatest possible level on all things necessary and important. Phooey on importance and necessity! Phooey!