SEARCH RESULTS

So.... I'm about to get candid. I mean, I always try to be honest and forthright and to the point, but mental illness, in any incarnation, is a delicate subject that often requires tact I've been told I sometimes lack, especially as regards my own personal experience. This post is about a journey. A process that sometimes requires frank honesty and self-awareness, and it's an uncomfortable journey at the best of times, but always... always... a necessary one. When I was a child, a toddler specifically, my mother made me a glorious quilted blanket, which was carried with the fierce determination of a soldier and his weapon. I swaddled myself in it's folds like a cloak full of magic meant to guard me from the darkness and shine light at the pain it promised And in dark moments, I found myself beginning to grab corners of the blanket and rubbing it between my fingers for comfort. I was always a moderately anti-social youth, and uncomfortable moments had me reaching for the corner of my blanket, further and further destroyed by the friction of my fingers. After six months, there was a hole in the blanket the size of my head, which should have held keen insight into a developing problem that was otherwise ignored by myself and loved ones who, despite their concern and best efforts to encourage my comfort in all aspects of life, were otherwise as much a victim to my anxiety as I was myself. Ignorance is not always bliss, right? And  even now, well into adulthood, and full of life experiences, hardships and successes, I still find myself drawn to the soft and supple invitation of a beautiful fabric waiting for it's own worried hole. A stressful day, a moment amidst strangers, and the impending sensation of failing to move forward in my life has all, always, had me reaching for my shirt tail or skirt hem, which I'd absentmindly grip between my fingers. The fabric is sometimes perfect. Thick cotton is a disappointing experiment in further frustration, but I'd find one sweet spot on my wardrobe that would allow me to exercise my stress and anxiety in a way that was soothing and mind-numbing. It wasn't until this year that I was officially diagnosed with severe anxiety, and medicated in a well-meaning appropriate way. Clonozapam, Valium, Paxil. These were all experiments in controlling my condition. Groceries stores break me out in hives. Parties and gatherings with an excessive expanse of strangers would have me wallowing with my phone in a quiet corner.... even if that corner meant an induction to the exclusive (and these days, dwindling) "smokers circle" outside. Their faces, hidden in their own fog, was also, in a way, a sacred solitude. I could breathe and, even if breathing second-hand smoke, it was a release of anxiety that inevitably builds in my body, turns my mind in every backwards, negative direction. I am a wreck at public speaking that isn't heavily practiced and, I admit, sometimes heavily medicated. Beads of sweat begin to puddle on my forehead, fall slowly down my nose in a trail of shameful recognition of my own discomfort. And even family, trusted friends, can (at times) fill me with a sensory overload that my body has difficulty processing. These are real struggles. Difficult ones. Often downplayed by society, as a whole, who push to "get out there" and "meet new people". And the internet has been a wonderful avenue for this, through which I express myself in meaningful ways, while still protecting my own psyche from an ever-growing cacophony of sounds, sights, and interactions that (so my brain and body tells me) is so far out of my control they are registered as a down-right dangerous sabotage to my well-being. The internet and social media has allowed me to meet people my condition would otherwise "shelter" me from, for lack of a better analogy. And my art, my love of the creative process, and my desire to share that process with others, is the conduit through which I ventured into social media at all. Creativity has been my adult "blanket". But in a much healthier way, I hope. I'm no psychiatrist. I have no background in counseling. I admit that I'm probably as ignorant of my own condition (save for my exact experience of it) as anyone. But I do know this.... creativity has allowed me to express my anxiety, my fears, my apprehensions and self-doubt, in a package of love, solidarity and sharing. And I've found, over the last two years, that embedding myself in this community... this wonderful, amazing, accepting community, has allowed me to, in my own time and my own way, on my terms, begin to work myself into the world again in very real and tangible ways, which extend far beyond the social media platforms from which this was born. I don't pretend this is the answer, or the only answer, at any rate. Because I don't know. It's a process. It's a road that has, so far, been less traveled and has, so far, proven itself beneficial to me and the handle on my health I've been striving to gain. Being creative, and sharing that creativity with others, has allowed me a beautiful opportunity to bare myself in ways I would otherwise pretend weren't worth sharing. When the moments are dark, I can make something, anything and, despite it's possible lack of fluidity or beauty or significance in the world, as a whole, it's significance to me is astounding and profound. And in the quiet moments I adore so much, I can understand and fully appreciate the beautiful peace creativity has allowed me over the years, even as a child sketching Garfield on my notebooks. I wont even pretend I know what message I'm trying to spread here, if any message at all beyond... I understand. To those who feel the same darkness and perhaps have succumbed to it from time to time. I understand, if only by my own experience of it. And I hope you find your own "blanket" to shelter you through storm until you are no longer afraid to dance in the rain.

"The artist is a receptacle for emotions that come from all over the place: from the sky, from the earth, from a scrap of paper, from a passing shape, from a spider's web" ~Pablo Picasso How often have we valued our creative results based on the definitions of others regarding art, the meaning of art, or it's worth? I've been a victim of this toxic comparison on more than one occasion, for sure, and it's a worm that settles in the heart and begins to slither into our creative process, much to our own detriment. I'm here to tell you that art is undefinable, an intangible experience and process that captures the essence of our own journey. Who can place value on our own journey but ourselves? We can create, we can hope that our art is a representation of our life, in whatever small or large ways, and if others appreciate the process, great. If they do not, it is not a reflection on our skill, our time, our emotional and physical investment. It's not a reflection of our individual finish lines, or how we chose to reach them, nor how long it takes us to do so. Art is a reflection of our souls. It is the embodiment of every experience we've ever endured or celebrated. It is, to state it plainly, a mirror through which we view ourselves. No one else deserves the right to judge the reflection in that mirror, but should honor it as a courageous badge of self-expression. When the value of your art is threatened by the opinions of others, remind yourself that you are the master of your own creation. I am not talking about skill, refinement, or the ability to "sell it". I am talking about using art as a spiritual awakening... a knock on the door of divinity, if I may indulge myself in mysticism for a moment. That is a relationship which, ultimately, only has two parties... you and the power you give it. Don't give negativity your power. Don't allow others to devalue your journey. Take back your personal power and walk through the doubts of others like shadows... dark for a moment, but gone the next. Let every experience you have speak to you through the things you create, in whatever manner they may manifest, and continue the experience on your own terms. You are a priestess of art, the magician of intangible moments, even if those moments are as small as a spider's web. Find meaning in everything, and express that meaning for you, before all else. And definitely, always, eternally, love it fully as a reminder of your journey.

I'll start with a caveat: I am not condoning incomplete, shoddy or sloppy work. Artists definitely need to invest time, energy and thoughtfulness in their crafts, and make products  that are mindful of their use and how they will withstand use. With that said, let's get to the meat of this blog post, shall we? Handmade goods, by their very definition, suggests an element of imperfection. We are not machines. And, despite our gifts and skills, we are definitely, most assuredly, not crafting gods. We are, however, very very human and humans are fallible. We make mistakes. I dare say we sometimes embrace our mistakes, for better or worse, and when it's worse... it's really worse, isn't it? We are our own worst enemies, our greatest critics, our own impenetrable wall of doubt and discouragement. We see every flaw, every wire out of place, every crooked weave. We see these things, I believe, as a reflection of ourselves, much to our detriment: "This isn't good enough, so I am not good enough." But let me tell you this.... stop it. Seriously. We are not the sum of our mistakes. Unless your work is intentionally lazy and thoughtless, I'd even wager our imperfections are the sum of our charm and character and human-ness . This is one of the very first photos I ever took when I become infatuated with photography, and after I'd dedicated months to learning it's technical requirements. It's blurry, it's dark, it's a grainy mess of pixels. But this, to me, has meaning. It's one of the few images I've held on to over the years because it represents part of my artistic journey, and it was taken during a time in my life to which the imagery, I believe, really speaks. If I feel that... if I believe that... wouldn't our audience feel the power of that belief? Are we not mutable, reaching bodies of energy, projecting our fears and wishes, dreams and nightmares, to those around us? Isn't that ultimately what art is? A reflection of our deepest emotions? "Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." - Marilyn Monroe We don't want to be machines, do we? We don't want our work to reflect a sterility in our lives, do we? So, embrace your imperfections. Yes, even in the crafts you make or the products you sell. It may not be a popular opinion among artists, or business people, but I'm giving you permission to make mistakes and, not only forgive yourself for them, accept them as a representation of your journey. Your imperfections are beautiful! Your journey is beautiful. Live it and love it, folks!

"Laugh at yourself, but don't ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don't leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory." ~Alan Alda I'll open a shop.... when I'm ready. But I need all the best tools to be good at what I do! I just don't have the time . And... worse of all.... I'm not good enough. These are just a few examples of the lies we tell ourselves, the lies which hamper our creative souls and which shut the doors to opportunity, excitement and revelation! But I get it...I totally get it, because these are all lies I've told myself and, worse, convinced myself were true! I'm looking at you "there's no way anyone cares what you have to say" voice in my head! I shake my fist at you! While it's important to be honest with ourselves about our goals, aspirations and, yes, even our talents, it's equally important to believe we are better than the opinions we have of ourselves. The two are not mutually exclusive. Honesty and self-realization harmonizes beautifully with, and balances, a desire to be our personal best! And recognizing that fear is not only an essential part of the human psyche, but also an amazing motivator, is the first step in recovering from the belief in the lies we tell ourselves. We may never be "ready", we may never have the best creative toys at our disposal, we may never have the time, but we are always good enough and we are always capable enough and we are always, always the embodiment of a creative soul worthy of a voice and an audience. Let your freak flags fly, let your imperfections capture the truths of your own imperfect but beautiful soul, and definitely give a middle finger to self-doubt! We've got this. We've totally got this.

It's an unfortunate predicament to which we've all been a victim... the dreaded creative block. Burrr.... It elicits shivers with its very presence in this post, I know, but it's a necessary conversation to have with ourselves regarding our own creative journeys. So, what does it mean to have a creative block? There are many theories and definitions but, most notably, it's defined as an inability to access the inspiration that drives our creativity. Whether we are trapped in a repetition of normalcy and the expected, trapped by our own expectations and fears, overwhelmed with unstructured work ethic, or faced with the stress of ordinary life, creative blocks are a hardship we all must endure once in a while. Now the question comes.... how do we combat these blocks? How do we re-open the door to our creativity and productivity? Here are a few suggestions I've found works for me. Get Organized. It's no secret, if you're a frequent visitor to my site, that I am obsessed with organization. And for good reason! Organizing your space can help organize your thoughts! But it's not just your physical space that needs our attentive, loving care, but our mental space as well! When you find the creative well has run dry, begin to write your thoughts, keep a journal to help process the feelings and frustrations these blocks can solidify, and sketch doodles.... mindless and incoherent doodles... zendoodles if you will. This can help open up the channels through which creative ideas can move.  Step Away. Sometimes it's just as easy as walking away from the project or source of frustration, if only temporarily. It's okay to set it aside and let it stew until you've finalized a vision of the impending masterpiece! Try Another Creative Outlet. Can't seem to finish a piece of jewelry? Try sketching or photography, even if you lack the skill, even if you've never tested those skills before. Try another creative outlet as an exercise in tapping the creative flow, even if that flow isn't directed at the project you wish. I like to photograph water drops. The shapes and colors that occur organically are often a great inspiration I can carry into other work, and often requires very little "mental involvement". In other words, when I let a creative act speak for itself, it takes the pressure off me to "perform", which is often a very healing process. Take A Walk! Not only does exercise rejuvenate the mental processes, but appreciating the creations of Mother Earth teaches us to redefine what creativity means, and shows us the many ways it can manifest itself in our lives. As they say (to quote Jurassic Park) "Nature finds a way". Indulge In Social Media! Pinterest is a treasure chest of inspiration waiting to be plucked from the sands of the internet. And while we should always endeavor to push our own creative limits, it never hurts to visit and re-visit the works that inspire us. And, sometimes, a little social media rant is all we need to push through the doorways of our own creative house, so tell the world you're frustrated! A sympathetic ear is often a curing one. Don't Think, Just Do. Don't worry about the outcome. Push aside your expectations. Walk with your fear of failure, have a conversation with it, and then show it the door. Pick up your tools, whatever they may be, and just create, without the goal of completing anything. This process alleviates a world of pressure! Give Yourself Permission. Permission to stop working, permission to walk away and sleep on it, permission to try and fail and try again and take a moment to re-evaluate your own processes and goals. Sometimes, when we allow the creative block the space to complete its cycle, we find that what we create on the other end of it is a masterpiece! Happy weaving everyone, and get creating! Nicole

“All men have been given time, but only a few men know its value.”  ―  Sunday Adelaja Determining the value of your art is a personal experience and depends upon a number of factors, a few of which are: level of commitment, setting reasonable expectations for yourself and your business model. Your level of commitment will depend largely on the motivations behind the production of your product. But whether you are a hobbyist, a weekend salesperson or a seasoned business person, there are a few standards to take into consideration. This article will touch on those standards, though is by no means a complete resource. Many of these figures are easy to determine and manipulate, others are slightly more time-consuming to calculate. Materials are fairly self-explanatory. Weigh your metals, price your beads, stones or cabochons individually, calculate promotional and shipping materials if you don’t utilize a separate shipping and handling fee, and add them together. Why (x2)? The cost of metals and materials fluctuate. When I sell an item, I want to cover the cost of materials used, of course, but also cover the probability of inflation in regards to a fluctuating metal market, for instance. Since you cannot always recover the value of scrap materials, this (x2) also satisfies the unfortunate necessity for waste in a handmade market. Your overhead is any expense required to run a business independent of direct labor and materials. This may include an hourly rate for research, photography or networking, internet, phone, electricity, mortgage (if you work from home), office supplies, selling fees or advertising, to name a few. If you work from home, you cannot rightfully claim your entire monthly mortgage payment as a business expense, since you live where you work, so it’s important to estimate the amount of space you utilize in the home, and how this relates monetarily. For instance, I utilize a tenth of the space in my home for business. My mortgage is $400. I can claim an estimated $40 a month as a business expense. I have cable and internet at home. I would have these services regardless of my business, but since I work from home, I can claim a portion of my internet costs as a business expense. Not everyone will consider electricity, cable and mortgage as business expenses when working from home, dependent upon labor wages, so crunch the numbers either way and determine your comfort level. I spend a minimum of 10 hours a week at non-chargeable work, such as networking, advertising, photography and research, or any work not directly related to the production of individual goods. I would consider $10 an hour for this work a reasonable salary. This is $100 a week, or $400 a month. Call into account water, electricity, tools and tool maintenance as well. All expenses considered, in this scenario, my overhead is an estimated $500 a month. If I make, on average, 30 pieces a month, my overhead is $15 per piece. So, for the piece pictured above, I used 3 grams of silver-filled wire priced $17 an ounce. This equates to about $1.10 in metal used. The 6mm amethyst is $1.25. That leaves me with $2.35 in materials. Total material costs (x2) is $4.70. So far, my equation is ($4.70 + $15 + labor) x 50% profit margin = product price. Minus labor, this equation is also an accurate representation of wholesale value. Ah, now for the difficult part…. determining the value of your skill. This, for me, was the most difficult to justify and, through the years, has dramatically fluctuated. I used to believe the value of a craft skill set was equitable to the value of, say, a receptionist. I know, right? Completely UNrelatable! Silly me! But, as a result, I was valuing my craft at an hourly rate of $10. It took me years to recognize that a much larger percentage of people are qualified to be a receptionist than those who are qualified to perfect a craft, so my hourly (or labor) rate needs modification to represent the discrepancy in this percentage. If you are still uncomfortable assigning a value to your skill set without accountable justification, you can also calculate hourly rate as: [desired yearly income / work weeks – vacation] / number of direct-labor hours anticipated per week. For instance, I would like to earn an annual salary of $25,000, and plan to work 50 weeks, at 25 hours of direct-labor work a week. [$25,000 / 50 weeks] / 25 hours a week = $20 per hour. Now, for the sake of our model equation above, let’s assume the labor rate is accurately justifiable (which is another post entirely) in relation to the skill involved, and I now value my craft at $20/hr. Assuming the piece above took 30 minutes to make, the equation now reads: ($4.70 + $15 + $10) x 50% profit margin ($29.70) x 50% = $44.55 I recommend rounding up to the nearest dollar, and adding sales tax where applicable. What you will discover, as well, is that the difference between the cost of materials are small in comparison to this piece in silver-filled, copper or sterling. The final cost in copper, following this equation, is only $2 less and the final cost in sterling silver is only about $3 more! As a precious metal, sterling is often marked higher (sometimes as much as 100%) due to its “perceived value”, but the math, for optimal profit and pay, doesn’t require the inflation. And there it is… my secret formula… hopefully made easy! Obviously, not all numbers are serviceable. Some figures are loosely applied. Desired yearly salary, estimated hours of direct and indirect labor, and profit margin are per individual standards, based on any number of extenuating circumstances. And there is still one more point of consideration: the market as a whole. Take the time to research the product price of like items and adjust your numbers accordingly. You want to match market value where possible, without devaluing your own investment and skill in the process. Now you’ve punched in the numbers and you think “Oh my goodness, no one will pay that price!” and there are no examples in your research of market value to justify the final product price. You have one of three choices: (1) determine in what ways you can enhance cost-effectiveness, (2) find another line of work (3) accept that it’s a hobby and create for the sake of creation…. not the expectation of financial gain. Expecting a monetary exchange for a hobby is like saying anyone can be a doctor without paying for an education. Work = gain. Period. The more work, the more gain. It really is as simple as that. If you are a hobbyist, respect that this is a profession to others and price accordingly. Now that you’re as bored reading this as I was writing it, and I may have raised a few hackles with my hobbyist debate, back to your regularly scheduled programs. Though hardly entertaining, it was, I hope, educational. And, as with anything I say or do, take it with a grain of salt. This is one solution to a complicated set of problems, but there are other, perhaps better, solutions. Product pricing is as personal as the process of creation to some, and as mildly irritating as a gnat to others. Find your place, stand your ground and let the opinions of others flow over you like water. Good night and happy weaving! ​

As a writer, a wire wrapper, or artistic personality, in general, learning to comment critically and accept a critical analysis of my work has always been a very integral part of my creative growth. AllPoetry is an online forum for sharing poetry and fiction, and was one of the first (and most prominent) fixtures in my online experience sharing work with a wider audience, and an incredible learning opportunity, both in commenting critically and accepting critical comments, but also an opportunity to learn to differentiate between a critical comment and a personal attack. Artists almost always encompass their work, on very fundamental levels. When we create, we imbue in our creativity a piece of ourselves, a little slice of our soul, so when we put that work to the world and praises aren't immediately raining down upon us, there's a sting in that which sometimes overshadows the opportunity these situations present... an opportunity to understand our audience, our product, our art, artistic trends and personal tastes. So I'd like to take this opportunity to discuss the "art" of critical commenting, how to offer a critical comment and, more importantly, how to be receptive to a critical comment. COMMENTING CRITICALLY First, it's important to understand what, exactly, a critical comment is and is not . A critical comment is not a stand-alone opinion based only on personal aesthetics. Have you received a comment like this: "It's not my style, but I guess someone will like it." and have you ever wondered why that comment is helpful? Well, it's not. It's not helpful at all. It's a meaningless, passive aggressive expression of dislike, disdain or disgust. It's rude and never furthers a discussion and certainly doesn't propagate growth. A critical comment is not about an emotional response to the work, unless the purpose of the work is specifically to incite an emotional response. More specifically, it's an analysis of the emotional reaction one experiences, what caused the reaction, what could alter that reaction. A critical comment is an analytical synopsis of the viewer's interaction with the poem, the photograph, or artwork, including a thorough explanation of each element in relation to the reaction it causes. A critical comment contains an understanding of the work and the process, the skill required, or basic "laws" associated with the medium used. Though proficiency isn't necessarily a prerequisite to making critical comments, it's important to avoid discussing elements, in a critical manner, about which you have little practical knowledge. A critical comment should never be offered when unsolicited. Meaning, if you don't see "Critical comments welcome!", or "Please tell me what you think!", do not comment critically. Understand that sometimes artists simply don't care what your reaction is. They had an experience, while creating their work, that supersedes your opinion, and they want to share this work for no other reason than to express their own pleasure. Don't rob them of this experience.  A critical comment should never contain the phrase "I don't like....". Personal aesthetics aside, critical comments should focus on technicality. "But it's art", you say, "It's not technical at all". Well, that's not really true. All art, for every artists, is born from a methodology, an understanding of color, form, function, symmetry, and these are all fair game when commenting critically. Instead of saying "I don't like blue and pink together" how about "Blue and orange are complimentary colors and might have a stronger presence in your work". Focus on possible improvement, not perceived "flaws". A critical comment should offer a solution! A few months ago, I posted to social media a wire wrapped pendant to which I added an olive green knotted paracord necklace. The reaction was, not surprisingly, quite mixed, because the two mediums are vastly contradictory. I encouraged critical comments, and received some that were very thoughtful and thought-provoking, and some that were really just empty "attacks" by the handful who had an (apparent) violent aesthetic reaction to the combination of materials, and some that were "fillers" who had nothing critical to contribute. The following is a (fictional) example of the type of negative comments I received, and exactly what not to do when commenting critically: "I don't like the green. You should have gone with a black or white. And it's just too big." Is there a reason you didn't like the green? Why would you have preferred black or white? Though an opinion was offered, there was nothing to substantiate it beyond his or her own tastes. This is what I like to refer to as the "unhelpful helper". They might actually believe their comment offers something to the discussion, or helps the artist improve, but in reality, they've not offered any solutions . The following is a re-creation of the comment above, but written critically: "I find there isn't enough green in the stone or focal itself to support the color of the cord. There are pinks and peach in the stone, and the wire is copper, so perhaps a red cord would accent the tones already present. Black and white are always neutral color choices that might also frame the wire work in a complimentary manner. The knot work is large and intricate and seems to over-power the detailed wire weaving, so cord in a smaller diameter might allow the viewer to experience each element in the design as part of a whole, and not in spite of each other." See how this comment offers solutions? It focuses on a flaw, or perceived flaw, or opportunity for improvement, and then offers a fix, while distancing itself from an emotional reaction to the piece, or from an emotional interaction with the artist. Some art is meant to incite an emotional response, and distancing oneself from an emotional comment is difficult. Let's say someone posted a black and white painting they completed, of a sobbing woman. The strokes are heavy, the outline is abstract, the features are distorted. And you think "This is depressing!" Commenting as such is, however, not productive. Not for you, as you experience the work, and not for the artist. It is fine to express your emotional reaction, but only in the context of the elements of the work. Instead of "This is depressing!", a critical comment might say "The heavy strokes evoke a burdensome feeling of oppression. The distorted facial features symbolize, to me, a lack of acceptance, thus inspiring a sense of despair and sadness. The hunched and sobbing form totally encompass the spirit of depression, but I feel a touch of color, a soft skin tone perhaps, might have involved me more in the work, since the black and white appear so stark and offending and separate me from the subject". I like to think of it this way: If a critical comment evolves into a discussion, then you've commented well. Taking the time to have a reaction to the art, and to analyze that reaction, is just as important to you as it is to the artist whose work you are viewing. You'll find that taking an objective look at the work of others often helps improve your own artistic endeavors. RECEIVING CRITICAL COMMENTS Just as it's important to understand how to comment critically, it's equally important to receive critical comments as intended. I remember once, when commenting on a poem I'd read, I discussed the rhyming form utilized, how the meter was inconsistent and how removing a word from a line would create a stronger flow, and the response I received was immediately defensive: "Well if you don't like rhyme, don't read it!" The author posted it in a contest called "Critical Comments" and specifically noted he or she would prefer honest critique. I call this "projection", when we think we want a critical comment, but really we want readers or viewers to validate our own opinions. Now if we're creating art only for the sake of creating art, our own opinions are the only ones that matter. But if you are creating art for an audience, or a customer, then we can utilize critical comments to understand our target audience, and to improve on the relationships we build with our audience, via our art. In which case, it's important to separate the comments we receive from our own experience with our art. Though some comments are intended to upset, to express discord or are attempts to help without an adequate understanding of tact, having the appropriate reaction to the comments, as the comments were intended to be received, is always a helpful tool in furthering ones art. If we can approach our comments in a responsible manner, using words and phrases that specifically distance our reaction to a piece from the artist who created it, if we can comment by utilizing technical terms, by addressing each element of the work, systematically, we can also learn to READ these types of comments as we receive them. The lesson here is that learning the art of commenting critically, allows you to identify and receive a critical comment. I recommend joining forums or groups which utilize this tactic, offering critical comments on established members, practicing the analysis of the work and your reaction to the work, and then putting your art out there to receive the commentary in return. Keeping in mind, of course, that a negative comment without a critical element is simply the signature of a bully. And that, my friends, is another post entirely.